Long and good day today(strictly speaking it’s yesterday). Went for BBQ with some people from work after my usual Japanese class(先生は美人だ！！！). Glad to be able to talk to a little more people than my usual, even if just for a short while.
But deep inside, I felt like I wasn’t useful to anyone even though I tried my best to help out, rather probably being an お邪魔. I guess I still have not found a way to start broadening my knowledge base nor become better as a person.
Even so, I still enjoyed the experience as a whole in my heart. Looking forward to more of such gatherings.
Been busy that time just flew by. Was able to get more things done and also more useful to others I think. But when I reflect on myself, I still find myself empty on the inside, as though something is missing. Hoping that good life-changing events will come soon.
Feel so tired easily lately. Am I getting old or is it just me feeling tired of life? No, I am not suicidal, just that there’s almost nothing worth looking forward to in life. Anyway, why am I still awake at this hour? Time to hit the sack…
Met up with an old friend for a quick catch up over dinner today. Been 6 to 7 years already I believe. A little surprised at how much time has passed, how some things have changed and how he has kind of made some progress in life. I still have yet to make any progress. It feels so hard to change myself in order to break out of the status quo and improve my current situation… Am I that lousy as a person?
Even though I asked simply because I couldn’t control my want to know and won’t do anything about it after that, deep down, my dark side is making me feel like I am backstabbing. 本当にひどい人わけです。